I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
