Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
