Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
even my farts smell like vagina
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Randomize
