she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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