and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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