carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
