My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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