do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize