Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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