my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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