brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
