Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Randomize