he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize