you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So gin and wine won't be happening again
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
