Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Rumble strips road head = magical
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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