yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
