Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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