I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
