He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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