You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize