Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
