So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize