So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Farmville is her only friend.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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