No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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