Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
