I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Someone shit on the floor
time to smoke my breakfast
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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