i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
