talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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