Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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