Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
