I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize