Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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