Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
