Pappa wants mamma naked
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
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