I just made out with a guy for $7.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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