They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
