But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
