I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
