just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
