Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
