I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
