i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
