At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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