Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
