When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize