I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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