we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
