I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
