Screwed.edu
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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