If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
