oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
