Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
