As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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