come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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