Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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