You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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