thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
