I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
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