i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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