i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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