You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
