I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
