I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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